Stupid Questions with the smart answers

Wife : You tell a man something,it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something : It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty.Andy says I'm ugly.What do you think,Peter?
Peter : A bit of both.I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"
Boyfriend : "Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday"

Teacher : "Which is more important to us,the sun or the moon?"
Students : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Students : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Students : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colours do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school,history was called current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam,you talk a lot!"
Sam : It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir,my grandpa was a street hawker,my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David : "You just send a telegram : Result declared,past year's perfomance repeated".

Teacher : "Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?"
Students : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now,Sam,tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir,I don't have to,my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent.Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all die".

Teacher : "Can anyone give an example of COINCIDENCE?
One student : "Sir,my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time".

Teacher : George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One student : "Because George still had three axe in his hand".